The Lonely Hero is a Myth: How to Find Your People in Your Next Chapter
We all know the story of the lonely champion. The hero who trusts no one, carries the weight of the world on their shoulders, and wins impossible battles all alone. It's a powerful myth, but it's one that no longer serves you.
If you are ready to transform your professional life and step into a brave new chapter, the idea of "going it alone" is a myth you must leave behind. Now is the time to start finding your people. Your community, your inner circle, your crew. The people who truly get you, lift you up, and encourage you to be your most brilliant self.
Making big changes in your career is scary, especially when you're moving toward something new that may not even exist yet. But loneliness is an illusion. There are others out there puzzled by the same dreams. Finding them is an essential step in your transformation.
Who Are "Your People?"
Pay close attention to the company you keep, as your inner circle determines where you're going in life. So, how do you recognize your people?
They see and support the real you.
They celebrate your successes, no matter how small, without a trace of jealousy or bitterness. Your success is not a threat to them.
They give critical, respectful feedback when it's needed. They know that tough love builds trust.
Their actions match their words. They aren't armchair critics; they are also making changes and have skin in the game.
They help you back on your feet if you stumble because they share the same kinds of experiences.
They are open, vulnerable, and ready to grow right alongside you.
Red Flags: The People Who Stand In Your Way
Just as important is identifying those who hold you back. The warning signs are cynicism and criticism that lack goodwill or constructive suggestions. In many traditional corporate environments, new ideas are often dismissed with "we've always done it this way".
When you hear, "Naah, it will not work," you are hearing fear speak. People who say these things are often intimidated by your plunge. As your success grows, you threaten the status quo and the choices they've made in their own lives. This is about your future, not theirs. Listen to the people who matter and stick to your decision.
The Heart of the Matter: Belonging vs. Fitting In
In her book, "Braving the Wilderness," Brené Brown writes about the difference between belonging and fitting in. It's a revolutionary concept.
Fitting in is changing or hiding yourself to be accepted. You try to squeeze into a mold that isn't yours.
Belonging is the freedom to be your authentic, real self.
For a long time, I tried to fit in, believing it was the only way to not be on the outside. When I finally stopped trying and decided to simply be myself, the effect was the opposite of what I expected. I was afraid people would leave, but instead, I discovered wonderful new people and opportunities.
How to Actively Find Your Community
Finding your people is an active process. Here’s how you can start:
Reach Out: I started by following interesting people on social media. I gradually got confident enough to send messages and connect with them.
Use Your Voice: I also began to put my own message out into the world for my people to find. My thoughtful and authentic posts resonated and led to direct contacts, meetings, and even wonderful friendships.
The same is possible for you. Your people are waiting.
The Beautiful Paradox: The Courage to Stand Alone
Here is the secret: a true sense of belonging cannot be found externally; it's something you carry in your own heart.
The journey to find your people begins with the courage to stand alone. It starts the moment you take those first steps into the unknown, without any certainty of what to expect. You may have to take those first steps alone.
But after just a few steps, the fog begins to clear, and you find them. The ones who are just as scared but are moving forward anyway. It is those people who will help you go much further than you would ever dare to go alone. And nothing will ever be the same.
The fantastic news? I am ready to be one of your founding people, your number one supporter. Your journey starts here.